Non-native speaker struggling to keep up with toddler's language learning | Raising Children in More Than One Language | Forum

Have you seen http://www.syraj.com/ ? They mostly have Modern Standard Arabic, but they also have some colloquial Arabic materials. I like to use children's books (also from Language Lizard), cd's and dvd's to help my own Arabic learning, as well as the Tales from Kalila wa Dimna and Al-Kitab books to study vocabulary and practice writing. I'm not sure how much that will help your learning of that specific dialect of Arabic. I think, as you said, if you keep practicing with your husband and he keeps speaking Arabic at home you and your daughter will improve.

It's always neat to hear from other multilingual moms. Keep up the great work!

Hi.  I just finished reading a book about bilinguals and language disorders.  My daughter is dyslexic and learning English and Russian.  The book had nothing to do with the topic I was searching for, but I learned a whole lot!!  Actually, the book addressed your situation.  It talked about a couple of children who were in your situation, and I would highly recommend teaching your child English.  You will NEVER be able to speak the language as fluently as your daughter will learn it, especially if you are in any Arabic contexts.  Are you living in America or in an Arab country?  This is important, because if in an Arabic speaking country, your daughter will learn the language very quickly and very well.  If you are in America, it will be a struggle for her later on, because she will want to speak English.  In any case, the book recommends that the parents each teach the children the language they know best, because when the children are teenagers, you want to speak to the children at a heart-to-heart level.  You will not be able to do this very well in Arabic.  I just know from my trying to learn Russian, that I have stayed up late at night trying to stay ahead of my children, but I also have limited time in which to study the language.  However, my children have attended Russian school and are in it more full time than I am.  Therefore, they are learning it better than I.  Mothers around the world are never able to learn languages as well as the children because of the time it takes us just in being mothers and providing for our children!! Secondly, the book said that these two boys whose parents spoke to them in English (but were non-English speakers) struggled severely in school since they never learned any language well because their parents struggled in the language they chose to speak to their children in.  In other words, they didn't know their parents mother tongue and didn't know English either, because their parents, although trying to teach them English through speech interactions with them, didn't have the fluency needed to develop their little brains.

My recommendation would be to switch to English with your child and have your husband speak in Arabic to her.  You could continue to speak Arabic to each other, but she needs to know English from you.

Hi MamaInArabic

My son is coming to 4 months and our family's "experiment" in trilingualism has only just begun…my husband is German and my native tongue is English and my second language is Chinese (I know, what's with that?! It's cos I am Singaporean and although ethically Chinese, I am much stronger in English than my supposed "mother tongue"). We are using the OPOL-modified due to my "problem" — I am trying to speak exclusively in Mandarin Chinese to our son but I don't achieve 100% because I lapse into English when I can't find the right expressions or words in Mandarin.

Our social environment is very pro-English due to its wide use by most of society, that is why we decided to have me use Mandarin even though I'm not comfortable with it. It's gone rusty from lack of use, even though I studied it in school for 12 years and still use it infrequently in daily life (to speak to my father, for instance). I see Bevan's point that using your native language would help your child more in the long run, when it comes to communication at a higher level, since I personally forsee lots of problems talking to my kid about politics and philosophy and why he shouldn't have girls sleeping over when he's 15!

But I believe you would come to choose your own unique methodology, which suits your family and your environment best. Research show that children are really great code-switchers and they use language on a "needs-basis", i.e. they won't use a language unless it helps them communicate to get something. You might find that using both Russian and English with your daughter might be ideal in the future, when she attains a higher proficiency in English. There's no best or right way, I think, we just have to experiment and see where it takes us and this takes time!

For my family at least, we're sticking with the OPOL (with a little cheating from me) and we'll see where it takes us with our little boy. I am also trying the playdate-strategy, I have a Taiwanese friend with a 6 month-old who is growing up in German and Mandarin as well and we intend to keep up the playdates so our sons can speak…well, whatever they want to speak with each other! I hope what I said has been of some help. Good luck!

Thanks for sharing your experience, Viv!

Just to be clear, we live in the US and most of our contacts and activities take place in an English-language environment. And the addition of a new, English-only speaking member of our household means that our daughter gets tons of English input. :)

Also, in our family, we use two languages only: English and Arabic, and my husband is a native Arabic speaker.

I agree that there may come a time when I cannot adequately express myself in Arabic. If that happens, I will use English and it will be no big deal. Our daughter will be old enough to understand that Arabic is our preferred language but that her mother is not as good in Arabic as she is. I think it will be okay.

So I guess my real concern is with the exciting but also challenging and sometimes exhausting process of keeping up with my daughter in Arabic as much as I can!

I am in a similar situation and a non-native speaker of Russian, but the primary care giver and natural teacher of our household.  We are in the US and my kids get only English from their friends and school.  I agree, the kids pick it up very quickly and I often stop and ask my 5 year old how to say something that I have forgotten.  We found that having mini-lessons every day helps all of us learn.  Additionally, I try to play Russian CD's in the car and when we do have screen time, only allow them to watch educational shows in Russian.  We found that the Sesame Street is available in most languages and is wonderful at exposing the kids to age appropriate vocabulary and concepts.  The only problem is that we had to buy the DVD's abroad.  Because the are licenced and more expensive, a video shop specialty ordered them for us.  My friend and mom-blogging partner is also in a similar situation (only her family speaks Hindi)  we started adding a weekly post to our blog and would love for you to stop by. http://theeducatorsspinonit.bl…..print.html

Hi MamainArabic

I just wanted to offer my support to you for what you are doing.  I can relate on a lesser level to your struggle.  I am English speaking with intermediate Spanish skills.  My husband is English only.  My daughter is attending a Spanish immersion school (for English speakers) with Mandarin as a 3rd language.  I already feel as if her Spanish skills are approaching mine, and she is only in 1st grade.  It's hard for me to find time to continue my learning but I am trying hard to do so.  It's been helping me to be doing homework and reading with her all of the time, but not enough.

Good luck with your language.  Keep up the good work!