10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Foreigner (Like I Did)

by Corey · 175 comments

By Corey Heller
Photo Credit: Kim Hyeyoung

What with all of the fantastic American men around, what made me choose to tie the knot with a foreigner? How about this fun, tongue-in-cheek, stereotypical rundown of some of my favorites (ignoring, of course, all of the challenges that go into an international marriage – you can find those in my post 10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Marry a Foreigner)?

Let the countdown begin…

10. That glorious accent! Who knew an “R” could be rolled that way!

9. Foreigners are oh-so-sophisticated. Whether they grow up on a farm, in the city, poor or rich, they just have an air of sophistication about them.  They simply can’t help it!

8.  He thinks I am fascinating. When we met in Ireland, he didn’t realize how completely common I am in my home country… too late now!

7.  I have an open-ended excuse to travel. Ok, sometimes this can be completely annoying since every vacation abroad is filled with visiting his family but hey, at least I have a reason to board the plane and it is great not to have to cook and clean for a month.

6. Our children will speak another language and we won’t have to pay an expensive tutor.

5.  Two weddings. I’ll admit that we didn’t end up having our second wedding (the “American wedding”) which upset my side of the family to no end (we really did want to have one, honestly, I swear!) but the excellent excuse for getting family and friends together twice is fantastic!

4.  He automatically charms friends and family. See #9 above… Need I say more?

3.  Chocolate and more chocolate. I finally have an excuse to indulge in that high quality chocolate (the kind that melts in your mouth like nothing else in the world) that he can’t live without!

2.  I love a challenge. Who would want to have a simple, normal, easy relationship? Especially after our children arrived, things got really challenging (and it wasn’t the decision of whether to use cloth or disposable – that decision was the easiest: cloth!).

1. True Love! It just couldn’t be any other way! Meeting in Ireland, breaking up in Versaille for an excruciating 10 minutes, meeting the families, being separated for a year to finish college… it was all worth it and made our relationship even stronger.  After all of that, there was no way I could let him go, ever!

Are you married to someone from another country?  What is your silly, fun, tongue-in-cheek top 10 list (or at least a few from your list)?

Or maybe you want to share the challenges that go into international marriage? If so, read my post 10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Marry a Foreigner (Like I Did) and share your thoughts there!

Corey Heller is the founder of Multilingual Living and the Editor-In-Chief/Publisher of Multilingual Living Magazine. Multilingual Living is the place where she shares her knowledge about raising multilingual and multicultural children. Corey, an American, and her German husband live in Seattle where they raise and homeschool their three children, ages 13, 11 and 9, in German and English.
CLICK HERE to send her an email! You can also follow her on Google+!

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{ 165 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Daina November 10, 2010 at 8:55 am

I’m a Latvian married to an American, but I’m an American, too, so I’m not exactly married to a foreigner. But it is a meeting of cultures… I think my brother-in-law put it best at our wedding, when all the Latvians sang me and Joe a folk song and then the brother-in-law said, “You know how people say you marry not just a person, but their family, too? I think Joe’s marrying a whole other country!”

But you know what? I think I married the ONE American who doesn’t find the Latvian thing fascinating, exotic or especially worthwhile! But he’s at least somewhat supportive of it, and we dye our Easter eggs in onion skins every spring.

The interesting thing for me is this: my non-Latvian husband has taught me that I’m Latvian in ways I didn’t even realize. But I’m not sure that’s so special. If every marriage is, in a way, the meeting of two cultures, getting to know that other culture also teaches you about yours.

(The cloth diapering decision was super easy for us, too!)

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2 Corey November 20, 2010 at 9:07 am

That is so funny about your American husband who doesn’t find “the Latvian thing fascinating”! I should say that when my husband and I met we were not enamored with each other’s cultures! I went to Ireland to hang out with the Irish, not some German guy! And he wanted to hang with the locals, not some American on an Education Abroad Program. But in time we did become fascinated with one another’s cultures (even if not always for good reasons).

I can totally relate to what you say about your non-Latvian husband teaching you about how truly Latvian you are. The little things, like the Easter eggs in onion skins, become so very highlighted when seen through each other’s eyes, don’t they! By the way, we tried the onion skins one year but ended up with completely brown eggs. I clearly did something wrong. Maybe you have a tip or two? We really enjoyed doing it and I’d love to try it out again… I saw online how we could get the more mottled coloring.

Thank you for your comment! I love sharing all of these experiences with others!

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3 Shannon November 10, 2010 at 10:48 am

I didn’t marry a man from another country, but I did marry one whose family is intractably Republican. Does that count? I converted him in the end, but we still have to have holidays with Republicans! :-)

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4 Corey November 20, 2010 at 9:10 am

Oh Shannon, you CRACK. ME. UP! Definitely – political differences count faaaaar more than language and cultural differences! :-) I love the way your mind works to see the connection with this post. You should write one titled “10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Republican (Like I Did)”! I’d love to read that. Knowing you, it would be hilarious, full of tongue-in-cheek witticisms and so much more. Perhaps you should have married Schwarzenegger… then you could have had both the foreigner elements AND the Republican elements – oh yea baby, bring it on! ;-)

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5 alex May 14, 2013 at 4:47 pm

yeah! bring it on! great idea.

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6 Janice October 16, 2014 at 6:55 pm

I think if I were married to a republican I would go insane or want to leave him. It’s good that you converted him. Kudos to you, girl! Being married to a republican would DEFINITELY be more difficult than being married to my Chinese husband. Republicans drive me crazy. I’m currently not speaking to one of my husband’s nephews who is a far right wing idiot who just can’t keep his mouth shut. I used to really care for him but he really pushed me TOO FAR!!!

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7 Jenny November 10, 2010 at 11:20 am

I married a Brit and live in his country! although we are both native English speakers the cultural differences between Americans and Brits is vast!

Like Cory we spend all of our vacations visiting family on the other side of the pond and in Europe and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We would like the girls to have both passports which will give them the opportunity to be able to choose where they want to attend university and live. I can’t think of a better gift!

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8 Reggie January 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm

I would have thought that the weather in the UK would make it very difficult to adapt coming from the USA where the weather is, hurricanes here and there aside, rather pleasant.

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9 Rea November 10, 2010 at 1:31 pm

A family that shares two cultures, two languages and two lifestyles is just so rich! Having a foreign husband means I can pick the things I enjoy from his culture and from my own, and integrate it all into our own, unique family culture. And in my case, a Canadian married to a Spaniard, I’ve gratefully adopted the good food, great wine and Mediterranean sunshine.
notsospanish.wordpress.com

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10 Gloria November 11, 2010 at 3:51 am

I’m Asian and my partner is Australian. I guess it’s easier for us Asian to adapt to Western customs since we have early exposures to it (TV, music, media etc). But my White Australian boyfriend have a harder time adapting to me. :P Especially on the matter of food, and this has been quite challenging to my avid cook self. I still can’t cook a steak properly, and he still doesn’t get the concept of eating rice with the little side dish at the same time, instead of separately! :) Also, to quote Daina, with a slight modification: dating him has “…taught me that I’m Asian in ways I didn’t even realize.” So true!

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11 Lori Nolasco May 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

I married a Domincan because of the first and second reasons on the list: he was the only one who offered me “unconditional friendship” before it evolved into love, and I never did things the easy way anyhow. I like #8 as well. I am Italian American and only learned the surface aspects of the culture, such as food. Now that I have learned Spanish on my own, I find Italian much easier to read and speak and St. Joseph’s Day is now my favorite church celebration because I get to switch back and forth between Spanish and Italian at the table.

#10 is the funniest of all for me. Ramon describes himself as “media lengua,” which means he can’t roll “r”s in words like “arroz” (rice) or “perro” (dog). I, on the other hand, can roll the “r” and no one ever guesses where I am originally from. As a friend once jokingly told me, “It’s better to have an Italian accent than a gringo accent.”

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12 Aunt LoLo November 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm

After living in Hong Kong for two years, I came home to Seattle…and promptly met, fell in love with, and married a man from Hong Kong. I LOVE IT.
10) So many holidays!
9) Chinese food is just HEALTHIER than most western food I am familiar with…
8) My kids voluntarily eat tofu, dried whole fish and “juice” made from flowers!
7) I admit, sometimes his mistakes make me laugh. (Today, he said his teeth had “plague.” He meant plaque.)
6) His mother! Whenever I have a baby, she moves in for a month and does all the cooking and cleaning. Heaven!
5) Being able to have an argument in broad daylight and know that nobody else can understand us. (I’m fluent in Chinese.)
4) When we went to Hawaii on our honeymoon, I got him to dress up in all sorts of loud Hawaiian prints…and on him, what that great skin, he actually looked cool!
3) Our kids? ARE GORGEOUS. ’nuff said
2) Did I mention all the holidays?
1) HOLIDAY FOOD! Om nom nom.

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13 Alice November 14, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Oooh couldn’t agree more with Nr. 3 ! Right on!!!!!! Multicultural/racial kids are absolutely the most beautiful!!!
:-D

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14 Aunt LoLo November 14, 2010 at 11:19 pm

In Hawaii, they’re called “hapa.” In Hong Kong, they’re “Wan Hyut” or just “Mixy”. Here, in America, they’re multi-racial…or just Eurasian.

Whatever they are, it’s a good mix. But it does weird my mother out a little bit to see an exact copy of her own green eyes…looking out of almond shaped eyes on a tan little face! haha (my mother is so pale she’s nearly blue! Think Snow White..)

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15 Janice September 4, 2014 at 4:22 pm

I totally relate to you. I’m caucasian, American, and my husband is Chinese. We’ve been married 50 years. We lived for 2 years in Taiwan in 68-70. My first day in Taiwan (I speak Chinese also but at first rather imperfectly) I tried to tell my in-laws cook I wanted scrambled eggs. Well, with the wrong tones it came out–bomb! She and the other maids about died laughing. Later back in the States, wish I could remember all the funny things my husband said. Once I was cutting out patterns for sewing. He pointed to the growing pile of scrap paper and said, “You are creating a fire hydrant!”

I was so glad for my kids to grow up eating Chinese food because I’d always been a picky eater and did NOT want any child to grow up to be like me. I did learn to love soy sauce though. I’ll eat anything cooked in soy sauce. My kids and grandkids will eat anything. And that’s another nice thing–that intermixing–it helps the following generation too. My grandkids are also gorgeous! My youngest granddaughter has blond hair and lovely golden skin. Genetics is a weird science.

It is nice to be able to argue in front of other people without any of them understanding you, isn’t it? For my son and I it was like having our own secret language. Where my kids grew up in the 70s there were no Chinese around, so–no one to understand us.

I visited Seattle and Vancouver a few years ago with my son, both of us for sight-seeing, him for hiking, me for searching for Chinese music in both China towns. At that time they didn’t have it on I-Tunes. I’ve always collected a lot of it, my favorite singer being Fei-Yu-Ching (Qing-alternate sp). I also love erhu music and there are many other singers I like. The best Chinese music is northwestern.

My husband was born in Manchuria (dung bei), moved to Shanghai, then to Taiwan when he was 16 where his father was a senator which is a story in itself since he did not belong to the party and refused to join.

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16 Kate November 12, 2010 at 9:04 am

I am Scottish and living with a Catalan man near Barcelona.
When we argue we can decide it is a misunderstanding and stop!
I love his olive skin, dark eyes and black hair.
Yes, my family and friends find him totally charming and handsome – and he is.
So many more ways to say I love you/Te Quiero/T’estimo.
So many more terms of endearment – darling, mi amor, estimada, la meva done….
Mediteranean men can talk about emotions and feelings.
We have two different cuisines to choose from.
There are more special days in the year – saints days, fiestas, Sant Jordi which is the Catalan version of St Valentine but much nicer.
I can learn two new languages in my own home with my own personal tutor – castellano and catalan!

And I love the rrrrrrolling sexy rrrrrrs.

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17 Lidia May 14, 2013 at 5:28 pm

“When we argue we can decide it is a misunderstanding and stop!”

hahaha, happens so of to us as well :) Gotta love the misunderstandings lol

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18 Isabelle November 14, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Such great reasons for my husband to marry me! I did not know there were so many! :) Thanks!

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19 Corinne January 10, 2011 at 7:00 am

Actually, a lot of what you wrote is true for me too!

I am not married but have been with my English partner for 11 years, I’m French myself and we live in Germany, where we met (at work in a European organisation). We have two boys who are very lucky to be trilingual, they’re getting at the stage where they now correct our German, that’s actually pretty cute!

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20 March September 20, 2013 at 4:15 am

Hello,
i’m so happy that there is a person who has a partner from other country which language is different.My partner,we’ve been together for like 5 years already and im from east europe,he is from Germany and most of the time we speak english, sometimes german and i was just thinking what is going to happen if we would have kids…i have always thought that the language is going to be a problem.Just wanted to ask you if your kids have problems with that,trying to say something using mix of words in different languages?Can it be fixed?

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21 Lila January 10, 2011 at 7:24 am

I think your article is very funny!

But I think, even if I’m Chilean and I married a French, I didn’t marry a foreigner, I just married the love of my life.

:)

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22 Anna Wolleben January 18, 2011 at 10:57 am

I’m Polish and I married a German, I lived in his country and I speak/studied his language. Now we live in Canada. I would say, I’m agree with each point on your top 10. The life is much more interesting with a person from a different culture! And the language is like a desert!

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23 Anna Maria Moore May 10, 2011 at 1:23 am

I loved this cute blog! Great idea! I fell for my Norwegian/French husband when I got tired of dating charming heartbreakers and realized that I wanted a stable, trustworthy partner who would share everything with me, including the laundry and dishwashing! I’m half-American, half-Swedish and we met in West Virginia, of all places, when we were both living in the DC area. Now we’ve moved to Norway, so I am the foreigner now! But anyway, my top 10 are:
10. I get to live in a land of the midnight sun, one of the most beautiful countries on this planet.
9. I’m learning a new language, and a cute one at that.
8. He’s so cute when he pronounces vikings, vows or violence “wikings”, “wows” or “wiolence”.
7. He shares all the household chores. (Boys are taught these things from an early age)
6. I am experiencing a new culture, as quirky as it is at times.
5. Norwegians have a great sense of work/life balance.
4. I get to enjoy the 17th of May celebration and the endless summer nights.
3. He treats me as an equal partner. (Norway has some of the strongest gender equality policies on earth)
2. He’s sporty and outdoorsy so hiking and skiing are part of our daily life, as is the case for so many others in Norway.
1. Despite our mixed cultures, we still share the same core values and are best friends.

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24 Salma May 13, 2011 at 6:25 am

I don’t know where it puts me an hubby but I loved this article.
I’m Jamaican married to a Yemeni. We live in Canada.
Travel, culture, language, adventure are just a few of the things I love about our union.

I try not to focus on stereotypes, but a lot of what I love about my hubby are stereotypical things (did I just say that?)…it’s true.

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25 Rafael May 13, 2011 at 11:05 pm

I haven’t married my beloved foreigner yet, but I will in a few months, and these are some of the great points about it:

– She’s trilingual – English, Russian and Uzbek – and this fits in nicely with my multilingual world. Her English, however, is pretty much that of a native speaker, and an extremely well-educated one at that, so we never have misunderstandings due to language. The best part of this is that she has a knack for translation, so she’s great at defining and explaining Russian words and expressions when I have questions about them.

– She’s interested in the world outside the borders of the US, which is something very important to me.

– She loves my cultural background, which is Latino, and she’s eager to travel to Latin America and Spain with me.

I’m extremely lucky to have found her, and we’re planning to raise her daughter bilingually, in English and Spanish. Russian would be nice, too, but, believe it or not, so far my fiancée hasn’t tried to teach that language to her daughter.

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26 Carlos May 14, 2011 at 10:25 am

How funny – after reading this, I said to myself, “gosh, how lucky is my wife because I am a foreigner” …so, without saying anything, I showed the article to my wife. After reading it she said: “see, you are very lucky because I am a foreigner!” she is from Norway and I am from Honduras.

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27 Anna Maria Moore May 15, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Ja ja, Carlos! There are two sides to every story, aren’t there? Good reply from Anja (assuming you are the Carlos I think you are).

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28 Abby May 14, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Where do I begin? I love so many things about my husband and his culture. He is a Christian Egyptian, and one of the great things I love about him is that he has a good sense of humor. It surprised me when we first started dating that he was so funny, but now I know that everyone in the Middle East thinks they are a comedian. Seriously! Hehe.
I’ve learned that there are the stereotypical “dumb” people in every culture, and the jokes are basically the same (dumb blonde). I have embraced Egypt as a whole, I absolutely love it there, and can’t wait to go there to live, even though everyone in his family (including him sometimes) thinks we are nuts to move there right now.
I love that someone from a more conservative background so willingly married an American feminist. This rarely causes issues between us but has caused problems with his family-misunderstandings, usually, but they tend to just say “oh, she’s an American. It’s okay.”
It’s not always rosy, but marriage to a foreigner is the best!

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29 Rosey May 15, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I am a Mexican-American, live2 hours from the Mexico border. I married a Colombian, who is of Christian Arab decent. ¡VIVA LA DIFERENCIA!! I not only got to know 1 culture, but 2. Mediterranean food is to die for! Also, Colombian food! (and Music!)
My Spanish has improved immensely. And our children are bi-lingual. Castillian Spanish. American English.
Yes, my husband says he’s going to the “chicken”, when he means the “kitchen”. He says they sound the same. lol..
Also, myself, and my kids have a World View, instead of just
American. That’s a great education in itself.

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30 Tara Kamiya May 15, 2011 at 4:50 pm

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1.Will never stop learning about their culture.
2.Automatic bilingual child
3.Travel
4.Genetic Experiment
5.In-Laws that don’t speak English
6.Homemade food from other culture
7.Shock factor
8.Tradition older than America
9.Richness of perspective
10.Currency conversion

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31 Liliana August 24, 2011 at 6:28 pm

LOL to #5!!!

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32 Sarah-Nadine May 14, 2013 at 1:21 pm

Love #5. Worked wonders at our wedding :-)

My parents only speak German and his only English. Now there will never be a fight between the In- Laws.

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33 Emily May 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I’m an American married to a Dutchman living behind the mountains in Switzerland where we speak English, Spanish and French at home.
In no particular order and many have been said before:
1. He’s classic Dutch tall with those blue blue eyes.
2. He knows more about tulips and art than any other man I know.
3. He speaks and reads in 7 languages. That’s just so cool.
4. Because he’s so Dutch, he opted to teach our daughter Spanish over Dutch, because he thought it was more “practical”.
5. He’s got that oh-so-useful red (EU) passport, and now so does our daughter!
6. We’re both up always up for an adventure since our marriage is one to begin with.
7. I can always say in job interviews I have hands-on experience with multi-cultural situations.
8. Just about anywhere in Europe, he can manage to understand the answer when he asks for directions (which he always wants to do!).
9. We’re different for both sides of the family.
10. I have a great excuse for not moving back to the U.S.

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34 Tika van Steenveldt December 17, 2011 at 10:48 am

agree to #5

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35 Lori Nolasco May 20, 2011 at 4:41 am

Emily, thanks for posting #7. You are the first person to validate intercultural marriage in a professional situation (or at least the first one I’ve seen). I have been fighting for years to be taken seriously as a multiculturalist because I have married into another culture. This should be right up there with other reasons for accessing a culture, such as being born on a military base abroad, having parents in the Peace Corps or being the child of immigrants. Dugan Romano’s book Intercultural Marriage even explores various types- I am a Nontraditional.

However, I find that this is a “taboo topic” even at Global Leadership meetings at the university where I work. It has taken me a longer time to be accepted as multiculturally competent than if I had been born into another culture. We have the advantage of having chosen our culture, much like the convert to another faith who espouses the new religion wholeheartedly.

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36 Ammena May 31, 2011 at 12:10 am

Hello :) Im a Brit married to a Pakistani :D and I love it.. we have been married for nearly 2 years now and the advantages keep growing.
I always tell him I married him for brown babies ;) how politically correct of me hehee.. but multiracial babies are just the cutest thing ever.
Other advantages include, my own curry chef, having family in 2 extremes of weathers depending on our mood (my mother lives in Canada) the hours of endless fun we have listening to each other trying to talk the others language (this is mainly for me as he speaks fluent English although we laugh at how he says words) The countless education lessons we give each others family about our ‘cultures’ The advantages our children with have when they are eventually bilingual

The list could go on forever and ever, everything is still so new and exciting and we always find new things to marvel about

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37 libby February 21, 2013 at 2:02 pm

i been propose to im american i live usa , but i been propose to and want marry me he lives pakistan , and i dont know nothing about culture or how would it work , how long would i have live there before i could come back to usa to live with my new husband,, i take any advice you have for me , i listen

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38 Sherri February 24, 2013 at 5:19 am

Hey, libby. I seriously need to talk to you. I am in a same situation as yours. I really want to talk to someone who is in the same situation.I can also help you a little bit. Please email me at 024.ksr@gmail.com.

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39 Lan June 20, 2011 at 11:51 am

I’m an American who married a Finn, and we have been living in Finland for 7 years and now have two children. I am thankful for our family, but I would never recommend it! It’s too hard being away from my own family back home and sense of belonging. Think long and hard about what you’re giving up if you follow your spouse half way around the world! I feel like a foreigner in Finland and the US now. Not good!

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40 Corey August 18, 2011 at 4:44 am

Good points, Lan. It really pulls at the heart-strings, doesn’t it? I can’t say that I regret any of it (travel, marrying someone from another country, etc.) but there are times when I either feel extremely guilty about my husband being so far away from his family or frustrated that I don’t feel at home in the US like I did before I traveled abroad. On the other hand, I wonder what I would feel like had I not done the things I did and married the man I did. Maybe I’d feel similar to like I do now? Maybe it is all just part of growing up and growing older?

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41 Anna February 24, 2013 at 9:04 pm

Hello!
You raised a very sensitive topic for me as well. I live in my husband’s country, and that separation from my parents and my own country is unbearable at times. I simply cry, because I can’t help it. And even he is not able to do anything, unless my parents decide some day to move and live with us, which is a very very difficult task. So we shall just follow the stream, as we ourselves chose this way of multicultural marriage. :)

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42 sara July 30, 2013 at 7:23 am

I am married to Pakistani for about 5 years and yes its very funny but sometimes its also hard but I love pakistan even thoe its so different than my culture

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43 Curt August 25, 2011 at 9:44 am

I am an American and have been dating a Hungarian woman living in Budapest now for over a year. I met her online. We shared all about each other and we want to marry with a year. We are in love and enjoy all about each other.
We had planned for her to come to US in September and stay 6 months on her visa. THen we would go back to Hungary for a while too.
She told her parents about us last week and they are mad at her. They think she is crazy for leaving them and going to live with a man in US. She is upset that her parents will not talk to her, until she comes to her senses.

What should I tell my love? How can i help her so far away.

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44 Steve May 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Hungarians don’t marry foreigners as often as their neighbours the Austrians or Czechs but if your relationship is meant to be then make it happen. Her parents will accept it in the end.

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45 alice November 19, 2011 at 1:24 am

I wanna marry an american, too

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46 k-dizz November 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Um, this was a really dim-witted article. While it was sweet, the reasons that you listed did not support the argument of why marrying a foreigner would be better than marrying someone from your own country.

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47 thisgirl March 11, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Well the article is titled “10 Reasons You Should Marry A Foreigner (Like I Did)!” not “10 Reasons Marrying a Foreigner is Better Than Someone From Your Own Country!”, therefore her reasons did not need to support anything but that. I found this was a really dim-witted comment. I do not understand how you came to the conclusion that she was trying to argue anything.

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48 Sahil December 18, 2011 at 6:33 am

I’m an Indian from India and for some weird reason, get along much better with foreigners than my own countrymen. They bring that “freshness” into my life – those vibes which are missing among the people near to me. I don’t have any friends today as I dream to find a foreigner soulmate- even my birth horoscope agrees with it that I would possibly marry one.

My favorite foreigners (mostly females) are of the following nationalities: British (sexy accents, the fact that they cuss a lot), Slovakia/Czech Republic (cuteness), Russia (awesomely beautiful), Germany (they feel most foreign and exotic even among foreigners), United States (I like the no-nonsense attitude of Americans)

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49 P. August 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

How I understand that. For me it’s much easier to talk to foreigners than to people of my own nationality. Even speaking a different language makes me more confident. And I really like observing the way people of other cultures communicate. A Russian will hardly ever tell you a compliment, while Americans, Brits and Chinese do it so easily – it fascinates me. AND flatters =-)

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50 Jackson January 27, 2012 at 11:46 pm

You know, I really feel that this post is a disservice, and just plain poor advice. Marrying a foreigner is just like anyone else–it is their inner qualities that are most important. It is also not like anyone else because of the extra patience and significant challenges required. Your post seems to be encouraging people to marry a foreigner for what are really quite shallow reasons that essentialize foreigners.

I think many of your reasons are quite poor, actually. Here’s why.
10. & 9.= only the most provincial of attitudes are impressed by this surface feature and annoying generalizations of “foreigners.” If you are so surrounded by homogeneity that an accent seems romantic, maybe you need to travel more. And bringing home an a**hole who is a foreigner does not make him charming just because he is one. In my own case, I will say that the opposite was true–I had to work ten times as hard with my wife’s family to win them over. Her father, in particular, held the view that his daughter marrying a foreigner would result in her moving a long way away, and he didn’t want that. He’s right of course–someday that may happen. But it took him a long time to let go of that opinion.

8. This seems more like you are encouraging people who are boring and socially inept to seek some naive soul from another country to marry/date them. What happens when that person realizes that you are really just a schmo that nobody likes and can’t get a date in their home country? Not really a good building block for a marriage, is it?

7. Ok on this one, but it is indeed a dual-edge sword. I am American and my wife Taiwanese. We (must) travel to the U.S. every opportunity to see my family, and although we look like big shots to some friends, it is kind of a grind to go back to the boring homestead rather than Paris. In addition, it is really expensive to bring the family (several months’ salaries!), so we are forced to live cheaply the other parts of the year.

6 Children’s languages. Yes, ok, but nothing that couldn’t be accomplished by schooling and family.

5. Two weddings is fine if you really want to have two, but a pain if you are expected to have two and really don’t want to plan a second one. It can end up being very expensive for one side of the family if the responsible party in each different culture is the same person. (For example, I was expected to make a substantial honor payment to my wife’s family for our Taiwan wedding, but in the U.S., where the bride’s family makes the bulk of the payments, I had to again foot most of the bill.)

4. See #10/#9 above… Need I say more?

3. Goods from other countries that your partner really needs? Yes, that can be nice, or it can be repulsive/expensive, dependent on what it is.

2. Challenges. ABSOLUTELY. I would offer more advice here. Don’t marry an impatient foreigner unless you are willing to be the only one to make sacrifices. Language is an issue for us, but since we are both very patient, we get through just fine. But sometimes it is a little frustrating (for both of us) when the other just doesn’t quite get it and it needs to be explained again. Sigh.

1. This one is not really specific to marrying a foreigner, so yeah.

Of your other comments, I would agree most with Aunt Lo Lo’s comments. Perhaps because we are both engaging with Chinese/HK/Taiwanese cultures, which are similar.

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51 Soberana January 30, 2012 at 1:23 am

This is the comment I have been looking for after reading this post. I agree most of the points on the list are quite shallow and simplified.
I too am married to a foreigner (Turkish) and although it is great, it is not easy! I wish someone had offered more realistic advice to me before I married, to be better equipped to handle these challenges. An intercultural marriage also has many very special things – but none relating to an accent, sophistication or more travel (which now I don’t like as much as I am older, have children and it is exhausting – mentally and physically!). I have also come to appreciate my own culture more (Mexican) and seen how much we’ve lost many family values (especially American) due to adopting Western ways of living. How successful the marriage is also very much depends on circumstances, where you live, education levels, language, financial situation, cultural values, your work, etc. You may marry a foreigner but both of you live in the US and maybe even their family is there too or you may marry a foreigner who lives far away requiring you to move and sacrifice your work and life or you may marry a foreigner whose personal, cultural and religious values may not coincide with yours.
I’ve found in my own marriage that like any marriage we have to work at making it a strong relationship and then work harder at all the other cultural, logistic and distance barriers that come our way. Not something for the weak!
I hope to find more in-depth articles and websites that don’t just touch the surface of the complexities behind culture, marriage, identity and language.

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52 Corey January 30, 2012 at 1:48 am

Thank you Jackson and Soberana for your comments. You are very right that marrying someone from another country/culture has its set of challenges! If you spend some time here at Multilingual Living, you will find many posts that speak to the difficulties, challenges and seriousness of marrying someone from another country/culture.

This post, however, is not that kind of post. This one is meant to be read with humor and fun. It is focusing on the enjoyable, silly bits of international marriage and was never meant to be the kind of serious post that you are speaking of. One you might enjoy instead is this one: http://www.multilingualliving.com/2010/08/18/multicultural-families-identity-and-change/.

I hope you will spend more time here at Multilingual Living where you will find many “in-depth articles that don’t just touch the surface of the complexities behind culture, marriage, identity and language.” But this post isn’t that one. This one is a tongue-in-cheek bit of humor about the silly side of it all. And in the whole scheme of things, I believe that a little bit of humor now and then is necessary!

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53 Jackson January 30, 2012 at 3:57 am

First of all, Corey, thank you for responding to these comments and engaging in valuable dialogue.

I should mention that what drew me to this site was an article about multilingual learning. One of the clickable links (articles) on the right column was this one, so this is essentially my introduction to the website. And I find…THIS?

I think what is somewhat disturbing and Soberana and I have problems with is that this post looks…well, like the serious thoughts of someone about marrying a 4NR. If it is a tongue-in-cheek look at it, it really should be more clear.

Marrying a 4NR is full of challenges and pitfalls–it isn’t easy, really–and this article really reminds me of the most simplistic and idiotic of my friends who, shall we say, “painted everyone with a wide brush.” This type of article would have been fodder for her as justification for a rash decision. “Ooh, that accent!” she would have coo’ed. “Inconsequential” I would have said. I mean, this type of stuff is okay for co’eds with a new college degree in hand, out to see Italy and meet a hot-blooded Mediterranean lover over the summer, but it’s really not good advice for a marriage. It really ought to be better introduced as humorous, because it is so misleading.

Actually, why don’t you ask your readership to submit the qualities necessary for a successful multi-lingual/cultural marriage/family? I bet you would find some interesting responses, none of them mentioning the accent ;) .

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54 Lia January 30, 2012 at 12:47 pm

i am quite familiar with the ml-website and read a lot of articles, and for me it was very obvious that this article is a funny one, not meant as serious advice.

i myself am married to a foreigner (well, we are both foreigners in the country we live in) and i did a lot of research and read a ton of books, spoke to other multicultural couples before i made the decision to marry the love of my life. deciding something life-changing like marrying someone (especially from another culture!) should never be taken lightly and i don’t know anyone who MARRIED based on accent and the fun factor. we have to be responsible for our decisions and can’t blame others for not telling us it would be hard to marry a foreigner (this is mostly directed to Soberana who brought this point up).

i like this article especially because it doesn’t go into depth and doesn’t mention all those difficulties that we have to face. yes, it is sometimes hard, but it also is such a privilege and SO MUCH FUN. i enjoy every minute with my husband who is so different and who’s history is so different (and so exotic) from mine, and i love his deep accented voice, especially when he speaks my native language. i find it very important to never forget the little details that made him stand out to me in a crowd of people, and to find humor and joy in our multicultural day to day life (especially concerning relatives. that really is only possible with a good sense of humor!).

so thank you Corey for this fun reminder! :)

and Jackson, such an article (Actually, why don’t you ask your readership to submit the qualities necessary for a successful multi-lingual/cultural marriage/family?) would be really interesting to read and a good-more serious-suppliment to this article. :)

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55 Jeff Winchell February 3, 2012 at 1:09 am

First off, I am a thorough romantic. So pardon my following decidedly unromantic post:

Your objections are all valid, and you haven’t even touched on what happens if the couple split up and their are children.

Given that 50% of marriages in the US fail, and the higher demands of a multi-cultural marriage, I HIGHLY recommend anyone THOROUGHLY look at what happens if it goes bad with children. It has been a nightmare for me, and I know far too many with multi-cultural kids in the same boat. They are all in Germany, but I’ve read enough stories about people in other countries to think our unfortunate situations actually could be MUCH worse.

That doesn’t mean I say no to such things (love with me always wins out over logic), but you should assume that everything you thought you knew about breaks up should be tossed out the window and instead get educated. At least then if the ugliness happens, at least you will be better prepared to deal with it.

Sincerely,
Yet another parent stuck in a foreign culture/country

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56 Jackson March 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Jeff, that is an interesting point and one certainly worth researching before making a decision to marry someone from outside your own country. In culturally Chinese countries, for example, the woman marries out of her family, and is considered a legal part of her husbands family. It’s not at all the marriage of two families, legally speaking. That means that should a divorce occur, the children almost always go to the father’s family–even if that father is a foreigner in the country. This leads to more cases of mothers kidnapping their children in the case impending divorce. The law is changing somewhat, but as for me, our children are my “property” even though I am an American living in Taiwan. As long as I can provide well enough for them, they are unquestionably mine in the case of divorce.

Now, Chinese societies are rather strict in terms of “men first, women second”, but it is certainly worth checking out the laws in your country. The more you know, the better.

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57 Yoka January 30, 2012 at 11:41 am

I am a German (with a recently aquired US citizenship) and my husband is a US Foreign Service Officer. We currently live in Venezuela. Here are my top 10 reasons:

10. Two weddings (we really had them)
9. He’s very charming
8. Our daughter is already tri-lingual at age 3.
7. He is really smart.
6. He gives me an opportunity to travel the world and live in different cultures.
5. He’s special.
4. An intercultural and interracial marriage gets never boring.
3. Because we are an interesting family. I am Caucasian, my husband is Japanese/American and our daughter is African American.
2. I enjoy to learn languages.
1. He’s the love of my life

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58 Kelly February 3, 2012 at 12:57 pm

American married to a Colombian, we met in college in Madrid. This year we’ll be celebrating our 10th anniversary. The very best reason to marry a foreigner is life never stops being interesting. We have so much in common, yet so much different all at the same time. I’ve loved the challenge of raising children together (they’re both turning out to be so well rounded and beautiful). We’ve known from day one that we have to stay engaged in our relationship to make it work, no such thing as autopilot when you’re dealing with a cross cultural relationship. This keeps things challenging and entertaining. He’s my favorite person!

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59 Kim February 4, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Love it! And, this was posted on our wedding anniversary. :)

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60 Miranda Jijana February 4, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I’m New Mexican, my husband is South African. Our biggest issues involve cuisine! But it’s marriage and he’s not just an African, he’s my husband and I’m not just an American, I’m his wife. And our three kids are not some cute biracial babies, they are our children. It’s so exciting and exotic to marry a foreigner, but then it turns into a marriage and a family and it’s familiar and comfortable. Accents don’t keep you warm at night but a decent, loving man does!

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61 Maggie (from Canada) February 5, 2012 at 9:15 am

I had to smile at your comment about the “cute biracial babies”. I’m a Canadian (mom is of English/Scottish descent; dad is from Belgium) and my husband is of Chinese background (but born in Malaysia). The first thing ANYONE says when they find out my husband is Chinese is something along the lines of, “You’re going to have such cute babies!” I sometimes want to say that since they’ll be our babies, I’m pretty sure we’ll find them cute regardless! Not to mention that baby-cuteness is probably not the best foundation for a relationship. :-)

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62 ibnu anwar April 8, 2013 at 5:58 am

good, maybe u also can learn about Malaysia multicultural :)

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63 Kate February 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I really feel that marrying someone who does not have the same background, language, culture, race, religion etc. is not something to be taken lightly. Whilst I appreciate that 10 reasons to marry a foreigner is supposed to be amusing, it is a little unrealistic and shallow to my mind. I agree with the other posts which don’t endorse these 10 reasons either. I think there is no reason to marry a foreigner, other than they are the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. However, marriage is never to be entered into without due consideration, and when you will have misunderstandings between you because of language and culture in addition to the usual problems every couple face – well, I say it is a step to be taken soberly! Having said that, I took the plunge and my Albanian husband and I (I’m English) have a lovely marriage with 2 wonderful kids. That’s not to say it’s easy for either of us, but I wouldn’t change him for the world. I married him because of who he is though, not what he is!

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64 Jasmin Otero February 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I am from Colorado, USA and he is from El Salvador.
10. Free Spanish lessons.
9. Cutest accent!
8. Tall-er, dark, and handsome!
7. Respectful – aka old fashioned family values
6. Funny use of English phrases
5. Discovering our cultural differences – the things we didn’t know about ourselves
4. The most beautiful child(ren).
3. Bilingual child(ren)
2. Daily evidence that we are all God’s children – made in his image.
1. Love at first sight – at least during first date!

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65 Yenise March 10, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I am from Venezuela (speak Spanish), married a wonderful Iranian man (speaks Farsi). We live in the USA, been married for almost 11 years and can only communicate in English.

At first, I didn’t know much of the English language so we spoke “Love language”-lol
It’s so wonderful to learn from a different culture, I think we have many things in common but at the same time we grew up with so many cultural differences.

We are very happy to have found each other, he is my soulmate. I love Persian food, even more than my own now.

Even though we are both USA citizens, I feel half persian and he feels half Venezuelan. My family is his family but sadly he lost contact with his persian relatives when he left his home country. Many Persian friends tell me the success of my marriage is the fact my persian in-laws are not in the picture -lol. I would give anything for my hubby to reconnect with them.

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66 Shiva December 14, 2012 at 9:17 am

Oh! I’m Iranian!
I’m glad to hear that you guys are having a good life :-)

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67 Jessie J January 1, 2014 at 2:42 pm

I have always wondered why re: Persian in-laws

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68 Anna Maria March 18, 2012 at 11:14 am

Are you a Lovepat?

After reading all the interesting comments on this fun topic, I realized that many of the commentators and readers of this blog are Lovepats.

Lovepats are those of us who choose to move to, or live in our partner’s home country. This decision can add incredible joy and enrichment to our relationships and our lives, as well as complexity and challenges.

If you have a bi-cultural marriage and neither fit into the typical “expat” or “accompanying spouse on assignment” categories, you are probably a Lovepat. If you left your home to move to your loved one’s home country, you are a Lovepat.

I have created a survey to better understand Lovepats, their experiences and their needs. Results from this survey will shine a light on this understudied group and to better support Lovepats in finding the balance necessary for a fulfilling life.

If you are a Lovepat, please take 10-15 minutes to have your say by filling out our survey. You will find the link on the Forum page, or here below. It will give you a chance to look at the life-changing decision you made and reflect on how it has affected your relationships, your family, your career, and your life in general.

Thanks so much in advance!

To take the survey, click on the link below:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JKW589K

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69 G April 19, 2012 at 11:31 am

one word… SHALLOW.

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70 Ellen April 23, 2012 at 12:00 am

I am French, married to a Hong-Kong Chinese, living in Taiwan. Don’t get me wrong, I love him very much, we have wonderful children who are growing up tri-lingual (Chinese, English and French) and our marriage is gonna last. But knowing what i know now, having experienced 11 years in Asia, giving up on my dreams, would i do it again? NO. Would i marry him again? NO Would i come to live in Taiwan? NO. Marriage is tough enough without adding the cross cultural thing. I would marry a French man or at least a Western man. The cultural differences would be minor. So marry someone because you love them, yes, because they are foreign, no.

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71 Ken Westmoreland May 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

I am English and in a relationship with a woman who is also English, which was a big surprise as I never thought I would be, having lived and travelled in different parts of the world, and, unlike most British people, speak other languages, so would welcome the chance to use them regularly. (Actually, my girlfriend’s grandpa is Ukrainian and he still has an accent after sixty-five years, but the only Ukrainian word she knows is ‘Dido’ or ‘grandpa’.)

I grew up in Singapore, where mixed marriages between expatriates and locals were common, as were Eurasian children, but some relationships were less successful than others. Yes, there might be something ‘exotic’ to begin with, but the novelty can wear off, and cultural differences can be a minefield: talking with your mouth full or entering someone’s house with your shoes on can be acceptable in one culture but not the other.

Having lived in Asia, I’ll happily eat rice, but my girlfriend won’t, even though the rest of her family will – but that’s just down to her, not down to what race or nationality she is!

Anyway, I love her and she loves me, irrespective of whether she’s from Taunton, Somerset or Tanggerang, Java. :)

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72 Hitesh June 1, 2012 at 2:12 am

Hello friends….

Let me share with you all my love story with a Romanian girl here . I’m from India and She is from Romania ( Europe ) . We are two different personality but we are magnetically attached with each other . We both have different culture , tradition , language , Life style etc. but I always respect her wishes and she is do the same . We have Incredible Love story . I met with her on Facebook since 1 year ago . we are still together .I’ve plan to marry with her till at the end of this year . One more interesting things is that I just love her Funny Accent . Please join me in my Happiness . Hats off to all Incredible Lovers.

Love you All ~~!! Love you My Foreigner Girlfriend .

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73 shall June 10, 2012 at 1:07 am

I have a huge crush on a man from Hungary ! its so crazy but since i fist saw him in my gym i cant stop thinking about him, hes English isn’t very good, but i cant help the way i feel – he will go back to his country in 2 years time and my heart will probably be broken … no idea what i should do ! i am 20 and never had this type of crush before… my mother is waring me not to fall in love i have a date with him today … so lost i am Afrikaans long way away form his home…

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74 Nino July 12, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Hello, I am Nino from Georgia (country) Married to English man. What a great decision we have made! Even though our countries are so far from each other and they have SO much different cultures i absolutely love exploring my other half’s language and culture.

Funny enough, one of my sister is marrid to German guy and my parents have three son-in-lows from different countries. Just very cool! :)

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75 Artur Siew August 5, 2012 at 6:33 am

I am a Macaenese, I grew up in Macau and Hong Kong SAR, going through a trilingual education in Chinese, Portuguese and English, so I am able speak Cantonese, Mandarin, Portuguese and English. When I was studying highschool in America, I learned Espanhol and now, living in Australia with my White Australian girlfriend. She is trying her best to learn all the language that I am speaking, beginning with Mandarin and Spanish (which is easier). We hope to raise multilingual kids together.

Eu sou a Macaenese, Eu cresci em Macao e Hong Kong, passando por um educacao trilingue em Chinese, Portuguese e Ingles. Quando eu foi estudando colegio em EUA, eu aprendi Espanhol e agora, vivando na Australia com meu Namorada de Branco Australiana. Ela e tentendo o seu melhor aprender toda a linguagem que eu sou falando, iniciar com Mandarim e Esphanol (que a mais facil). Esperamos aumentar criancas multilingual juntos.

我是從香港和澳門来的,在澳門教育系統,我们需要經過英語,中文和葡萄牙文的三語教育,那就是說我會講英語,普通話,粵語和葡萄牙文. 我在美国读高中的时侯,学了西班牙文.我現在和我的白种奥大利亚女朋友.她費勁學習普通話和西班牙文(比較容易).我希望我們可以一起養育多語種的孩子.

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76 crystal A. August 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I am a Mexican engaged to a South African Man from Cape Town
Its the best thing ever happened to me ! My family love him!!!
And his family love me as well!!! He sees me as the most beautiful girl in the world ! He loves my “R” and my spanish language
and im learning afrikaans for him
and he does the same with the spanish.
Its so awsome that when we have kids they will speak 3 languages !! even more hehehe
Even if i moved away from my parents i love to be here !
my man is the best guy i could ever met !
my best friend , lover , boyfriend and husband to be :)
love his cooking
the way he makes me smile and laugh
is so magic !
as my sister told me once : He makes u a better person and everyone can tell.
My dad cried a lot when i moved away
and my nephews always call me on skype
so i feel close to home.
I show my man everything about my culture
and traditions
and he does the same with me.
In the end its just true love and i found it :D
Never stop beliving ;)

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77 Nishani June 23, 2014 at 1:41 am

I’m so happy for you. You sound so enchanted. I’m a South African married to a Dutch guy and living in Holland. Life is an adventure. We love each other deeply. We are best friends and talk about anything . We trust and know that we we MEANT TO BE..

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78 Shortie August 16, 2012 at 11:02 pm

question/ how did he come to america i have ahusband in the Gambia and i want him here in the states so we can actually get married. what is the steps of gettin him here i know it is so expensive and pls explainn so i cna understand on how to bring him here pls help me and thanks.

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79 erianti August 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

im indonesian woman about to marry with an indian man we both cath and we both already got blessing from our parents, im ready to stay in india after our wedding coz that what he wants from the beginning . but… somehow i got the heavy things come to my heart that i will be far away from my parents not because i need them but i cant be there for them anymore and i dont think i cant stop all this coz i really want this marriage so badly…but then i confuse…anybody had the same emotional experiences like me? or at least give an idea what to do? please?

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80 umer July 16, 2013 at 9:45 pm

i suppose that after you wrote the message you would have found any solution, because almost a year has passed since then. I am indian man about to marry an indonesian girl. I might need some help from you. Please mail me at youmer01mf@yah00.c0m

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81 Franck September 12, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Thank you Corey for this fun post.

You inspired me to create a list about “Top 10 reasons to marry someone from Spain”:
http://www.earlylanguages.com/2011/06/top-10-reasons-to-marry-someone-from.html

Franck

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82 tom September 18, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I am a brit married to an Iranian..she is awesome and she can not go back to the country because of the bad government

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83 Shiva December 14, 2012 at 9:20 am

I’m Iranian…It’s so great to see that you have a successful marriage.

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84 Mariann September 30, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I am American and have met a Dominican man, (while on vacation a year ago) and have fallen completely in love with him. We have been to visit each other 6 times in the past year. We are planning to marry sometime this year. I have been divorced for 19 years & thank God for allowing me to find someone to share my life with…because I never thought I would finda decent man. He is the kindest male I have ever met. I am unsure about how my family will repsond to this relationship because they have not met him yet. But, I am sure if he makes me happy that they will grow to love him also. Yes, his accent is adorable (he is fluent in 6 languages) but I was most attracted to how kind he is to everyone he encounters. I hope to be writing on a blog like this years from now… telling my story of a successful long term ‘bi-lingual’ relationship. BTW, he is fluent in English & I am learning Spanish…slowly…

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85 CindyLou October 2, 2012 at 12:29 am

I married a man from West Africa 13 years ago; I am American. Anyone considering intercultural marriage should really think long and hard about it. Although getting to know another culture is interesting and a spouse that is different [racially, culturally, etc] is exotic, I would never have married this man, had I known what I was getting myself into. Sure, a German marrying another European might sound exotic, but that is really all the same basic culture.

Try it with another COMPLETELY different culture–No way!
The values of another culture can be so completely opposite from one’s own that you are constantly stressed and wary. When someone says something in the US, you pretty much presume it is the truth. In West Africa, the ‘truth’ is never the truth, even when someone swears that such and such is “TRUE.” The whole culture is BASED on hiding the truth, about the family, about who is doing what with whom, about how much money something costs, etc.

They are mostly Muslim. That means that even nowadays a man can have four wives, [two is more common now] and there are millions of problems with this ‘arrangement.’ The women are always jealous of each other; anyone who thinks that the woman ‘help’ each other, and all accept the situation, warm and fuzzy and communal, is drastically misinformed.
The co-wives all HATE each other, which messes up the children’s psyches totally, even into adulthood. All wives want their own children to shine for the father’s pride, and will do anything to sabotage the other wives’ children, even to the point of putting a bad spell on them. Yes, I said “bad spell” because they really do believe that someone can DIE from a bad spell.

Do you begin to see some problems here? And the man I married is not a villager from a mud hut, he had a college education, ‘modern’ job, car, etc., when we met.
Back to the honesty issue: the person will lie to tell you whatever you want to hear; he didn’t really sleep with the woman he met, he really didn’t send THAT much money back for someone’s wedding or for a present, etc. Adultery is the National Pastime in W.A., accepted by almost everyone, even their mothers. He will walk the walk and talk the talk about being faithful and honest and generous, but it is a total scam. I would never repeat my experience.

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86 $haunda October 11, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Well I am not as advanced as all of u. I am deeply and unmistakenly in love with my forerign honey,yes, however , we are not married but long to be. I am American he is Jamaican and I find it hard for us to be together with todays economy. finances are just not to where I would like them to be on both our ends. Yet andstillour love stands strong. I met him in December 2010 and we have kept our longdistanced relationship going. I have visited a couple of spaced out times, but am greedy for more. To love someone and not have the ability to be near them is the pits, I can tell u. Has anyone experienced this? How did u get through it? Sorry to dampen the blog :-) .

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87 d October 20, 2012 at 9:57 am

What superficial reasons. This was supposed to be a joke right? This article is the sole reason why I will never visit this website again.

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88 Aunt LoLo October 20, 2012 at 10:04 am

Haha. Of course these are a joke. Anyone married can find 10 reasons, specific to their spouse, to love them. Adding a second culture, language, or birth country just adds a whole new level of…unique. I’m sorry if we have offended you. I think everyone here adores their significant other…and everything that makes them unique.

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89 Iv December 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I am an American married to a Mexican man. The best things about being with a Mexican is heis extremely family oriented. He is very hard working and provide for his family. I get to learn Spanish and not have to pay a tutor. Instead of arguing we can agree we don’t understand eachother and drop the subject. Very romantico ;). He doesn’t mind doing the cooking. He finds me attractive. Hes very giving (maybe too giving). Reason to travel. Raised to be respectful.

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90 Ricky January 8, 2013 at 2:12 pm

I am marrying a Ukrainian woman. It’s truly a wonderful and rewarding experience and I would HIGHLY recommend it for any man, especially the so-called “nice guys” that “always finish last”. Believe me when I tell you, you won’t finish last with a Ukrainian or Russian lady. You get the odd gold digger or scam, but I went through Elena’s Models and they are very strict on their screening.

Anyway, the point I wanted to make is that the toughest part is having family and friends refer to her as a ‘Russian Bride’ or ‘Mail Order Bride’. Most people don’t realise how incredibly insulting that is to the woman and the man. It basically says that she’s a whore, who instead of selling her body is selling her entire life, and secondly it says I’m a human trafficker (which apart from being morally abhorrent, would be illegal). Most westerners don’t realise that it’s actually nothing more than international dating. You meet online, go visit a couple of times, and then bring her over.

In the spirit of singing kumbaya about all the plusses, I thought I’d just get that off my chest. It IS incredibly worthwhile though and I could kick myself for not doing it sooner.

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91 Bianca Martin January 25, 2013 at 9:31 am

I met the most beautiful asian man I have ever seen (who just happened to have an Australian accent) the last day he was in Puerto Rico (my country) in a festival. I saw him dancing and even though I have a (puertorrican) boyfriend I couldn’t help myself grabbed his hand and danced all night with him. Next day before he left we met at the airport kissed and exchanged contacts. Since then we’ve kept contact. We write each other e-mails talking about life, things we like and aspirations. Even though I feel super bad about my boyfriend/best firend this feeling of happiness I feel whenever thinking about John (my asian bon bon) is like none other. Now every time I sign in my gmail I look forward to something. Every time he writes back I make it a special occasion and don’t write back until I have my complete privacy and can fawn over the email. I haven’t felt like this in years. I catch myself smiling like and idiot all the time. I think it’s pretty nice. Since we didn’t have much time we didn’t get too far that last night he was here and now we have the opportunity to really get to know each other. I look forward to the day we meet again.
Secretly drooling,
Bianca

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92 Tina March 19, 2013 at 2:02 pm

I had to laugh when reading your comment and getting to the “I haven’t felt like this in years. I catch myself smiling like and idiot all the time.” part… Yeah, I know this myself… :-)

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93 Anna February 7, 2013 at 2:19 am

Hello, Corey! I was searching for some logopedistic advise for my friends’ daughter, who is a multilingual child and found your wonderful website! I’m very glad of that because even I’m in mixed relationships and will certainly be visiting your pages from now on.
I’m Russian married to Indian – a crazy mix of emotions, cultures, tastes!However, this is what makes our relations so special, at least we always feel special.
I liked those points you made on why it’s good to be married to a foreigner, I know with a bit of irony in it, but it’s true :) My points are:
1. We will never get bored with each other, in whole our life, as we get to know new things about each other’s cultures every day.
2. I had opportunity to shift to another country. India is many people’s dream destination.
3. I get thrilled of one thought that my husband is Indian! I’m proud of it :)
4. Can’t wait to see what beautiful children we will have in future :)
5. I LOVE when I hear him speaking Russian, with that cute accent!
6. My parents visited India too, which they would have never done in their life time.
7. About charming family – can I borrow it? Because it’s absolutely true!
8. Our children will speak at least 3 languages (hopefully, my native too) already in their early ages.
9. Yearly trip to my parents is always like vacations for us.
10. We value our relations as we remember that it wasn’t easy to finally be together.

Hope you liked my points :)

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94 Trilingual+2 February 13, 2013 at 6:11 am

I already speak 3 languages fluently, and can make myself understood in 2 others, but I would love to learn Russian! Having one of the most difficult languages in the world as a base is probably the best gift that you can give your kids!

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95 Anna February 13, 2013 at 9:11 pm

Hi, multilingual friend!
That’s really awesome! I can speak 2 languages so far, and know basic Hindi :) So 3 languages in my store!
Thanks for liking Russian, it’s really a beautiful language, so I hope my kids would feel proud being bale to speak it :)

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96 Rhia c February 28, 2013 at 4:13 am

Hi corey,
Greetings!
It’s very nice reading this post , sharing all your comments,opinions and to know aswell other nationality.
Im been with my german boyfriend for long now and im asian(filipina),1 reason i fell inlove with him since we seen each other through chat are beinh handsome.
Of course the culture indeed 1 aspect that we need to be love as we what we accept of being someone you love and share life to and its great things we both have same religion and family oriented.i dont find it hard sharing things to him esp matters from family coz i think its also reason of a great relationship.
Language hmmm..we both agreed to speak english as he like to polish his english well and im looking forward to learn more bout deustch even he spank(as naughty spank) me when i can’t pronounce well..lol! We both hope that our relationship
Also be successful as like others have foreign beloved.

Cheers to all!

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97 Brianna March 3, 2013 at 11:21 am

I love your article Corey! Totally everything that I need on my way to my international marriage. FI and I will get married June of next year. I’m American and he’s French. I’ve also got relatives on my mother’s side who are Italian so I guess our marriage won’t only be bilingual but a multilingual one! Right now, the wedding planning is a bit challenging, and we’re still working on wedding website at a multilingual wedding website http://twowed.com/ for us to spread the word to our families, relatives and friends overseas. I think marrying a foreigner is the most exciting decision I could make. I get to learn a lot from my FI and vice versa. We also get to travel a lot that’s why we chose to have destination wedding! Now that I’ve read your article and the comments in here, I’m positive that we’ll have a great multicultural life ahead. Again, thank you Corey!

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98 hate your husband March 7, 2013 at 12:10 am

I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this website. Keep up the good work.

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99 apple March 10, 2013 at 10:46 am

i was reading your lovely articles..and skip thro a few..so was wondering does anyone here have experience with a turkish guy..i am african american and he seems nice so far..any married or in a relationship one would love to get some info.

thanks.

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100 Paul Turner March 10, 2013 at 5:52 pm

From my experience and observation married couples who speak different languages rarely teach their partners each other language. When I tried to learn Hungarian my Magyar wife said ‘Why do you want to learn that f***ing horrible language’

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101 sarita cg March 15, 2013 at 6:08 am

i am a malaysian (malay) who married a wonderful colombian man ,people say we are a very exotic couple. i guess we are the most rare combination. thats true he doesnt want to learn malay language and i am not giving any effort to learn spanish either.hehe. thanks to english language.

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102 Michael March 16, 2013 at 11:49 pm

I am American, which is the culmination of my French and Swedish grandparents. I married a wonderful polish woman. I wouldn’t change that for the world. I have learned many Polish phrases, it’s defiantly a challenging language for me. I don’t think I will ever be able to roll my r. Our cultures entwined into one culture in our home, and I love that.

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103 Tina March 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm

Hi everyone,
I am soooo glad I discovered this article and all those comments. It feels so gRRRReat to know I am not a fool! :-) Thank you.
I was trying to deny and resist in my case…I’m from Europe, he is from Latin America. He “found me” on the internet and offered his friendship to me… I don’t even know what it was that made me respond. But something told me “you have to reply to him”. Our communication started via e-mails, continued on chat, then I received his first phonecall… now we Skype…
I still think it is crazy…but somehow I realized he is the best thing that happened to me in years… He lives far away and there is quite a big time difference but seems like that can’t stop us… His culture is very diffent from mine but we have so much in common… Still there is a long way to go but I hope we will make it through.
Thanks god for the internet!!! :-)

And btw, I love his “R” … :-)

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104 Alex March 21, 2013 at 12:36 pm

I’m a U.S citizen, raised in the Netherlands, married to a Japanese. I can say that an international marriage can be at times a challenge. We lived in Japan, the Netherlands, the UK and now in California. Japanese culture is quite different then for example western cultures. You have to work hard to understand each other cultures to make a relationship work. After 15 years of marriage I can say that I’m still happy, but you have to keep working at it, just like if you would be married with someone from your own culture.

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105 Jeehee April 3, 2013 at 11:10 pm

I’m a korean woman soon to be married with a finnish man.
While searching for how international marriage is going around the world, I found your blog! We are from two exactly opposite cultures and now doing our best to make our marriage!! I got some encouragement from yours and I should write my own list about it too!

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106 Dalet April 9, 2013 at 9:06 pm

I’m Mexican with a French partner, we met in Australia and since none of us speaks each other language we speak in English, which can be really funny! And as we were both foreigners we felt really proud to share our culture with each other.

I’m about to move to France, and I’m excited about adapting to a new culture, meet his family and friends, and learning a new language. I believe the mix of cultures makes the relationship fun and sometimes complement one another.

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107 Rachel April 23, 2013 at 10:47 am

I’m currently living in Sweden with my boyfriend of 5 years. We just celebrated in March (our first anniversary together in person)! We met online, fell in love, fought tooth and nail to stay together, finally met after FOUR years of knowing each other and I moved here to be with him just before our fifth year together. It’s been a battle and will continue to be (I’m 20 and he’s 24 and we both have a lot of schooling to finish) until we can finally live (permanently!) together. The next step is trying to figure out how to move him to the USA. Ugh! Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

–Rachel

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108 linda April 30, 2013 at 8:18 pm

Hello,

I am american married to a gorgeous indian man-we met on facebook 3yrs ago.
This 3yrs been the most amazing yrs of my life full of much love and hapiness-
The way that he loves me kills me of happiness and peace. I couldn’t ask god for
A better man.. I just love him so much impossible to find a man like that in america.

Linda,

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109 HitesH May 30, 2013 at 12:20 pm

that’s why we proud to be an Indians . :) Well Congratulations Linda .
I wish you both will get marry in this year . :) (y)

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110 Sevgi October 26, 2013 at 6:38 am

@Hitesh – are yaar she said: “I am american married to a gorgeous indian man” :D which means they are already married! :D

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111 Vetlauf May 14, 2013 at 2:19 pm

Ha ha, after number 10, I knew he had to be German. Then number 3 confirmed it to me. How about everyday misunderstandings: “I’ll meet you at 12 on the first floor.” Of course, we both ended up home, separately and annoyed with each other, after not meeting up because I was waiting on the ground floor and he was waiting upstairs. My husband is German and I’m American, but we live in England. As he puts it, on neutral ground ;)

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112 Michaela May 14, 2013 at 5:57 pm

I am German and am married to an American and also live in the US. I too regret leaving my home and being able to be close to my family. It is very hard not being able to take part in family celebrations etc., especially when you have kids and would like them to have a close relationship with the grandparents, but you see each other only part of the time.
I do enjoy being able to open extra doors for my kids by making it possible for them to have dual citizenship, be bilingual and bicultural – what an enrichment and gift! Since the German culture and the US culture are very different in many ways, but also close in others, the cultural richness is not as significant as with some other cultures, but definitely worth experiencing.

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113 Isabella May 17, 2013 at 9:35 pm

I’m Brazilian and one of my wishes is to marry with a foreigner. I’m not the kind of women that desperately needs a man to get marry with or only to get a green card (which most part of people think about it … unfortunately). I have this with myself since I was a kid, I used to look at my mom and say proudly : ” One day, I will marry with a American man, have babies with blond hair and stuff.” That didn’t happen. At least not until now. Well, I still have hope to meet a foreigner that catches my heart and never let me go!

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114 Aimee May 26, 2013 at 12:12 am

I love this post! I am Chinese and I am getting married to my fiance who is half American and half Turkish in couple months. We are both undergrad students studying in Ameircan college. I am very excited to spend the rest of my life with him! He opened my eyes to his culture and I fell in love with Turkish food as well! He also like my culture and is able to speak some mandarian. I want him to learn Cantonese cuz my first language is cantonese but it seems way harder for him to learn than mandarian. We sometime do have problems regarding on culture value and language barrier but we love each other very much so we accepted each others differences and decided to spend our lives together. I am very excited for our weddings. We are planning on have a small one in America and two big ones in china and Turkey! We treasure out relationship very much because it is not easy for two people from complete different parts of the world to meet each other and fall in love with each other :)

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115 ahmed May 30, 2013 at 12:00 pm

I AM INDIAN.I FALL IN LOVE WITH TURKISH GIRL.WE BOTH WANNA MARRY .WE WANNA SETTLE IN INDIA.WHAT WE NEED TO DO?AND WHAT SHE NEED TO DO ? AND WHAT VISA SHE NEED? ALL INFORMATION I NEED.PLZ HELP US.WE BADLY NEED SUGGESTION.

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116 boo June 1, 2013 at 6:09 pm

You all sound hideous. You marry people because you love them for them not their nationality. People are people no matter where you are and where you come from. The way you write about these people who are your partners, People you supposedly love and respect, like they are commodities and not people. It is degrading and objectifying. Seems like you all lack any culture and self esteem about yourself and are in search for something that you really can’t grasp in yourselves. I came looking for something nice and heartfelt but this all sounds like you are bragging about getting with something “EXOTIC” or “FOREIGN”. I even have more doubts about marriage or “love” for it seems like it isn’t really real or tangible because all of it seems self indulgent.

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117 Aunt LoLo June 1, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Oh, Boo….this entire thread is tongue in cheek. Whenever one enters into a lifelong contract, you must follow your heart AND your head…and keep a sense of humor. I could have written a very similar list had I married someone with exactly the same heritage as me. I love my husband for all of the reasons I listed, plus a million more. The fact that he can help me raise my children to be comfortable in both American AND Hong Kong culture is just icing on the cake. I fell in love with Hong Kong when I lived there in my 20’s, and am so grateful to be blessed with someone who shares the same passions I do. Marriage IS self-indulgent – how else could I justify tying my best friend to me for life, with a legally binding contract?!

I wish you all the best, and hope you will not view those who have commented here too negatively. I first commented in the thread in 2010, and have loved reading (most) of the comments since then.

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118 Tina June 2, 2013 at 6:30 am

Boo, I think you are missunderstanding most of us here. :-)
Of course it is not about where the person is from. Love does not care, there are no borders… It is just that most of the people here are enjoying the “bonus” that a relationship of two different cultures can bring.
In my case for instance I love his “RRR” but if I should tell you why I love him…simply for being him, no matter what language he speaks… It is much deeper, it is about the way he makes me feel… ;-)

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119 Anna June 2, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Hello Boo! And this is what multicultural couples never lack – sense of humor! The “listed qualities” we like in our partners is just a fun way to look at our relationships :) All what we told about here is true as well as a million other things we enjoy in our cross cultural relations. So wishing you the same!

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120 Karianne June 8, 2013 at 4:55 pm

I just stumbled on this post, and it’s so good to see all these comments about this kind of relationship. I’m presently in a relationship with a Colombian, but it’s really hard right now..! We met before I went to Colombia one year ago, and I left in December to get back in my studies, but now I’m in Canada and now he’s there. I wanted to make him visit my country this summer, but his visa application got denied…. Ouch that feels really awful, so I’m probably gonna go visit him before I go back to school in September. Sometimes I feel like I would like to not love him so I wouldn’t have to go through all this, but he is truly the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and we love each other very much. Praying for a better future, and thanks for the inspiration.

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121 Sarah November 16, 2013 at 12:52 pm

I live just the same with my German fiancé, don’t worry and be patient
I am happy to know there are others who have same feelings as I.

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122 Dora June 25, 2013 at 9:05 pm

I also happened to stumble across this post while looking up information about Murat Pasa Mosque in Antalya,Turkey. I plan to meet my Iranian soul mate ( have been talking as friends for 7 years on fb and by phone -last 2 years have been serious) there in the following month to come. I am a Mexican American muslim convert who lives in USA and he lives in Iran. We want to marry but have no idea about legal procedures or even where to start on that. If anyone has any advice on how to regarding the legal matters , please let me know…Im not getting any younger and neither is he.. We are praying to make a life together. This was a very inspiring post for me.

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123 Anna June 25, 2013 at 9:41 pm

Hi, Dora! I see that you guys also facing same issues as all mixed couples do, especially if you both live in different countries. First of all, you shall collect information from the internet and from the offices themselves about legal marriage procedures in your country and Iran. However I feel that getting married in America will be much easier than in Iran. Also some couples opt for a marriage in the “third country”, like Cyprus, or any other. Like a neutral territory. You shall confirm what all documents you need to obtain to file your request in marriage office. You might various papers like affidavit that you (and your fiancee) are not married in your countries of origin. May be address proof, your passports, etc. Just ask local marriage offices.
Hope it was of any help!

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124 celia June 30, 2013 at 1:37 pm

I am a french girl married to an american korean guy :)

I dont think he is fascinated by me, but we definetly laug A LOT with my accent and are both good at making jokes and prank.

I do now start to realize how american ppl see french ppl (in a good and bad way) and how they see the country france. Most of the time, when i tell ppl that im french, ppl are all happy and surprised and soo curious.

I could not ask for a better relationship :)

We enjoy sharing our culture (french/korean/americain) and love each other a lot !

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125 Jeffrey Nelson July 8, 2013 at 5:57 pm

This is great! I wrote a similar post without knowing it. It’s fun to talk about the great benefits of marrying a foreigner, however we also need to remember that it’s not all puppies and unicorns. The “love” picture, or your point #10, is definitely numero uno!

Jeff

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126 Mariana July 11, 2013 at 7:51 am

I´m 24 years old, and being raised by a Russian mother and a Costa Rican father was an amazing thing for me, I was able to grow up between very different worlds, now that I’m an adult I definitely want to establish a relationship with someone from another culture, it just adds a lot :) I’m a product of a cultural mix and I can say it´s a wonderful enriching thing.

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127 S. K. July 18, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Crazy things happen in NYC. Here is a foreigner wanting to marry someone on the subway in NYC. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP0ffGLEUVc

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128 Barry Bawjaws July 24, 2013 at 9:46 am

How lovely it is to marry a foreigner.Except when you have kids, separate and they disappear back to their native homeland.Then your kid (who you never get to see) doesn’t speak your language or get to see you.Oh, but the accent IS super.

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129 Celine S.Lopez August 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm

Im swiss and married a british man:))
1. Listen to this gorgeous accent 24/7
2. Having two Weddings( only had one yet)
3. Family that lives in London.
4. Our son that learns 2 Languages from Birth.
5. Having my own Mr.Darcy
6. How cute he sounds when he talks German
7. Sharingmthe same british humour :)
8. We both went trough a tough time in our Relationship due the distance and we made it.
9. Getting to know a diffrent lifestyle.
10. He is my Rock n the Sea my True Love, he makes me smile everyday and is not only my Husband he is also my Best Friend.

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130 pablo August 16, 2013 at 8:45 am

I would of stayed in Germany over USA!!!

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131 Jeffrey Nelson September 5, 2013 at 10:20 pm

@Pablo

LoL :)

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132 Charles September 7, 2013 at 6:39 am

I cannot be married as I’m a Maltese Gay person. I’d been in a relationship with a Maltese guy for 8 years but it was a bit boring that we split up. Lately I met a Scottish guy at we clicked immediately. We both have feelings for each other but we both have a big problem. He cannot move here since he takes care of his son (was married before) and I can’t go there since I have my own business here. I’m really afraid to get into this relationship as we can only meet once every two months and it’s hard. But on the other side I have strong feelings for him. Really Confused as tried to stop contact him several time but it was unsuccessful. Once went to a fortune teller and told me that was going to meet a foreigner, she told me that he was going to be really in love with me and he was going to spend time time coming and going. I need some help please, thanks.

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133 Nikk September 15, 2013 at 7:12 pm

I’m an American about to marry a Romania, and to live in Romania. We met and spoke over the internet for months and I went there for 3 months to be sure I wanted him and that he wanted me. It was the best time of my life. I’ve never been treated better. We’re both 50 and neither of us are wealthy but in love. I’m going back in October to be married and cannot wait! Romanticism, gentlemanly behavior and deep kindness is still alive and well in Romania! I thank God for him. Please wish us luck! And to all of you as well.

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134 Lola September 23, 2013 at 6:28 am

My husband is German and I am Spanish, and we met in Norway, where we are living.
Some of my reasons…
1. It is nice to visit his family and that he/they explain me many more things about Germany culture, language and traditions that I could learn by myself.
2. We have different ways of expressing things, that can generate misunderstandings, because sometimes we think that our ideas are more different that what they really are, or one of us can find harmful how the other expresses them, for example, but with some extra talk and patience we understand at the end, and we learn a bit more about the other each time (what simplifies things next time). I think in the long term this is positive.
3. We have to deal with a slightly different set of values, despite we have the same religious background and I think that makes things easier, it is still sometimes difficult to agree on things that are important. I do not think this is negative, because it help us to try to become more flexible and understanding, but it is quite a lot of effort.
4. We try to be positive thinking that for our offspring is not just hard the situation (learning so many languages and having the family away), but as well gives her the opportunity to learn so much about others and herself, and to have some other kind of family with the people she is in contact with here.
5. We help to destroy some myths about our nationalities, in our case, people expects I will be funnier and he will be more organized and punctual, and it is the other way around. And it can sound kind of funny, but it is not always nice people label you for your nationality, so we are happy to help to avoid this.
6. The fact that we are both foreigners living in a third country help us to feel stronger as a couple, nobody is loosing more than the other (about being social with friends and family, or having to deal alone with a foreign language, for example).

Well, I think I will finish here… I think the summary is that being married to a foreigner is in some ways harder (dealing with different sets of values, habits, ways of communicate), but it can, as well be, a very rewarding experience, because you might need to become more open minded an flexible and you can learn about a culture, country, language,… in a way that it would be difficult to get if you were not together with your partner.

Greetings,

P.S. I am sorry about my English!

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135 Maria Eva November 4, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Excelent! the reason I married is love

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136 Sarah November 16, 2013 at 1:09 pm

I feel so happy when I read all these comments and know I am not alone .
I am from Algeria and he is from Germany, we met on Skype 6 years ago and decided to meet last year, it was the most happiest moment of my life, he was completely different from all men I knew in my country, so kind, so gentleman, smart, generous…etc (I would not stop if I continue). We had a difficult moment then when my visa request was refused, we knew that its going to take longer time to us to be together in same home (in his country) you should add to reasons not to marry a foreigner.
Top reasons to marry a foreigner for me are :
1- learn different culture and language
2- travel more
3- it’s a discovery relationship

By the end of the year we would be married hopefully I can join him and start new life.

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137 Rocky November 23, 2013 at 8:50 am

I find this blog fascinating. I am not married but I do feel marrying someone foreigner is better than marrying some from your own culture. Its intermixing of cultures and genes as well.

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138 Anna M November 26, 2013 at 1:41 pm

I’m so glad I discovered your website and all these like minded people!

I am German married to an English man living in the UK, so I guess my husband is the lucky one married to a foreigner! :-) your list made him chuckle! I don’t see any downsides, I just love it. And there are no prouder moments in my life when my 2 year old comes out with words in both languages!

Keep the great website going please!

Viele grüße aus UK

Anna

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139 aisha January 10, 2014 at 4:53 pm

Hi guys. I am fromhungary my hubby is from pakistan and i live in the uk and hopefully he comes asap he get visa. We got married in lakistan 14 months ago. I know urdu already and he also tries to learn hungarian. Inshallah our kids will speak urdu hungarian and english which is so exciting. Its really a blessing. :)

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140 Sarah February 19, 2014 at 12:48 am

I haven’t gotten married, heck, I’ve never had a boyfriend, but my American Grandfather married my Thai grandma. Its very interesting to see how he adopted her culture. Even though she misses her other daughter and extended family, and also has to gibe up some of her culture, its very nice to know that my granddad kinda became Thai too. Its also interesting to know that their daughter in america (my ma) turned out so american. I think asian-ness may skip generations, especially in the spicy food department.

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141 Giovanna March 14, 2014 at 11:14 am

I’m Italian and married to a German. My husband loves me and I love him. We travel a lot. And we had two weddings!
Amazing to see how many people are married with a foreigner! I’m proud to be part of the community

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142 Lvy March 15, 2014 at 8:47 am

Im Vietnamese and I always want to marry a foreigner man and travel around the world. I was in a relationship with a Chinese man who was born in VN. I thought we would have a romantic wedding party but then he left to Australia to study abroad and he s too busy to connect with me every day and we broke up. After reading this I still hope I can marry a foreigner. We can tell each other about our hometowns also. It will be so interesting

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143 Lulu May 16, 2014 at 2:06 am

I want to have a foreign partner too. I dont think, that the person whom you want to live your life with, has to be from the same place.

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144 holly May 23, 2014 at 11:41 am

Just this month I finally met my online LDR, my Serbian soulmate. I wouldn’t have placed my hearts desire 5,000 miles away. We’re offically engaged. I wish we had gotten married there but now hearing perhaps things would go better if we do the 90 fiance visa. I know it’ll be hard for Alek in many ways to come to America. We do have a deal that we can move back to Serbia when we’re old/retired. And when I can learn some of the language. We know it won’t be easy, we know it is worth it.

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145 Language Learning Forum May 27, 2014 at 10:07 am

Oh dear. I am totally into marrying a foreign girl one day. I am living in Switzerland and most of my girlfriends have been from different countries. There is just something magic about being with a foreigner, right? I can really feel most of the 10 things you pointed out in your article and maybe the most important ‘point’ for me is linguistic aspect of all this. I would love my future kids to grow up in a bilingual environment, maybe even trilingual if we can afford to have a Nanny *.*

Sadly, having a relationship with a foreigner also has quite a lot of disadvantages. I have just seen that you also have an article about the disadvantages of being engaged in a relationship with a foreigner. I will have a look at that one now and I will let you know what I think about it!

Thank you for taking the time to write all these lovely blog posts! Keep them coming.

Best wishes from Switzerland

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146 Ronson May 29, 2014 at 1:52 am

I married a Russian with 4 children .The marriage was difficult as her attention was always to her children and they tried to keep us apart.We got divorced and now are good friends and the relationship is better . The comments appear naive as there are many who are not sincere. I think you should read the reasons for not marrying.
You have to give the relationship at least 2 years before a marriage.

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147 kris June 22, 2014 at 4:46 pm

a Singaporean Chinese married to a British Indian

the differences? … it’s like sweet n sour pork vs fish n curry chips !!!!

believe me, everyday is a learning journey

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148 Nishani June 23, 2014 at 2:03 am

10 reasons to marry a foreigner.

1 You know he/she truly loves you because of the pressure long distance communication puts on a relationship. However both of you have put in all the effort to make it work, because you believe in each other. The foundation has already been set for a lifetime of marital bliss.

2. You learn to speak a foreign language.

3. You get out of your comfort zone because you have to show up for yourself in a foreign land. PERSONAL GROWTH like nothing else.

4. Your kids are always the most gorgeous at any given event. (I’m South African Indian and my husband Dutch).

5. Our daughter could be mistaken for Greek, Italian, Mexican, Iranian, Turkish, South American, Cape Coloured. She is really international looking. Confusing people, which is great for building bridges.

6. You learn to be more open and embracing of all cultures. You learn how similiar we all are and not pay attention to things that divide cultures. UBUNTU.

7. You are always a hit because you cook exotic dishes.

8. When you visit your country of birth. You are treated like Brad and Angelina Jolie.

9. Dutch men are liberal in their thinking, well organised, decent and completely devoted to their wife and children.

10. We learn to laugh at ourselfves because we see ourselves the way an outsider is observing us. SO we don’t take ourselfves so seriously and learn to lighten up.
11. IF you can live in a foreign country, learn the language, culture etc and make a living , then you can do anything you set your mind to do . That can build your self esteem and make you a GO GETTER…..

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149 Sarah June 23, 2014 at 2:57 am

Hi,

I really love your comment it makes me happy it feels like you talk about me and my husband.
We are lucky and we really should be very happy.

:)

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150 Nishani June 23, 2014 at 3:07 am

Hi Sarah,

I count my blessings everyday because I followed my heart and married the man of my dreams, instead of settling for someone because is was easier to marry the guy next-door.

I wish both you and your loved ones immense love and happiness. CARPE DIEM

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151 Karina July 24, 2014 at 2:48 am

I am so happy to have found my man, Im mexicana, he s norwegian. I never d have meet a man like him, so sweet but so manly at the same time, I like men who looks like men, not metrosexual, and I must to confess I though scandinavian men were almost all of them like this, so I was kind of racist about it, thinking a latino it was the most near to the man id like to have, oh my god, I was so away from the real thing. We make food together,,, mmm delicious everybody love our mixes of food, our babygirl speak english, spanish and norwegian already and she is only 3 years. We have a very nice sexual life, he is fire, and i though a white man would be never able to be like this. Actually I was like, not liking white men because all my ignorance about cultures. I am a person who like to learn new things everyday, so, with my husband I do learn a lot of things I never though I would. I always said to my friends, “no i dont want a white guy, I dont like them, is like to kiss my little sister” oh god, I was sooooo wrong. Now my mind is more open and I have plenty happines with my man. And all the points, 1 to 10 are completly truth. Thanks to share it.

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152 QS July 24, 2014 at 8:22 pm

I’m non-Malay Malaysian and he is Bangladesh. we has been attached together for almost 1 year. Working at Singapore but our family not aware of our relationship. as they might not able to accept uss. even we go dating we also need to hide inside the car, or go to some far restaurant to have dinner and sometime i was thinking how long that i can be patient on this kind of relationship. :(

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153 chris July 28, 2014 at 7:52 pm

I am American and my wife Irina is Russian. I married the most wonderful woman in the world from Minusinsk Siberia Russia. How we met… Well in the days before skype and yahoo IM we did it the old fashioned way… We used ICQ and We emailed everyday for what felt like forever…lol as well as we called each other every day and I finally met her in September of 2006 I could not believe how amazing she was. She had a 5 year old son. We spent 10 days together, getting to know each other even more this time in person… Getting to know her parents and her son. Learning some of the culture. Going to museums, skiing, shopping, traveling around her native area… It was incredible! and I was head over heals in love… So much so I traveled back to Minusinsk Siberia in January 2007 and spent another 10 days. Well long story short she made my life complete for a very long time. Please realize communication is key. It makes no difference where you are from… Men and women are still men and women… She grew apart from me toward the end… but I want to reassure that it was still the greatest decision I have ever made. Thank you for being my everything in my life for all these years! Irina Simonds I will always love you!
Please people! Don’t think that its any different. It takes a ton more determination to marry a foreign lady or gentleman…

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154 Rocky July 28, 2014 at 9:13 pm

@chris, your story is inspiring. I am happy for you.

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155 chris July 29, 2014 at 5:30 am

Thank you Rocky. I was inspired by her everyday for 8 years. She was my inspiration. My rock. I feel so heartbroken now. This is devastating.
All I can say is work work work on your relationship!!
I did. I can honestly say that with all my heart. She would agree. I am the type of guy that will do or try anything to have repaired this marriage. I will do anything because I would always wonder if I didn’t try something… If that would have fixed it… If anyone on here ever realized what i did to try to repair my marriage or did just half of what i did. They would think i was crazy! She has even told me that no man on earth would have done the things i did to try to save our marriage! I have been called a fool by my many lifetime friends for hanging in and trying…. She was my soulmate. My lifetime love! My one in a million… But, in the end, You can’t make someone love you. I’m crying as I type this but at least while she did love me, it was the greatest love anyone could ask for. Our marriage was my greatest achievement but also my greatest failure. I lost my wife, my step son, my family! It is devastating. But if she were to ever find this post… I must include this… Irina please know I will love you for the rest of my life. And I know you know this ;-)
Thank you! Baby Girl… For everything.

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156 Sarah July 29, 2014 at 5:39 am

Hi,

Can at least tell us the reasons ? If you did all and she still wants to leave then she is not a good wife in my opinion cause when we marry we do for life no matter if love is strong or still there…. She is selfish… Forget her

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157 chris July 29, 2014 at 6:34 am

I was raised by my grandparents with very old school values. I’m a relic. This is why nobody in today’s times wants to be with someone like me… I know that marriage is forever. believe me i made that promise before god and family. A great marriage, thats all i ever wanted. I am the only person in my entire family to ever be divorced. I can’t write what happened here. Way to public… But just say she met someone, developed a deep emotional relationship and moved on… I and our marriage was disposable

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158 Sarah July 29, 2014 at 6:46 am

I know 100% before you replied that s because she cheated …. Forget her please she doesn’t deserve you she is a bad wife….

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159 Rocky July 29, 2014 at 9:07 am

@chris, I feel ur pain friend. I dont know what happened betn you two, and probably its best if you keep it yourself. I wont pretend I can give you advise on how to cope up with your pain, coz I know nothing works. I had a similar story and not favorable ending hence,
the only thing that I can say is, based on my own experience, rejoice in the fact that the person whom you love so dearly and so purely, is still in this world breathing the same air you do. Feel privileged to have that, coz some would give everything to just have that.

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160 Lindsay August 4, 2014 at 6:15 am

I’m American and my long-term boyfriend (we don’t want to be “married”) is Danish. But one thing that’s not on the list, is how appealing foreigners can be. My Danish man is the ideal image of a man in America. 6’2″ with blond hair and blue eyes. He’s absolutely gorgeous!

The language barriers are way fun, too. We don’t have any kids, but since Danish folk celebrate Christmas on the 24th of December, and us Americans celebrate it on the 25th, our lucky kids are going to have two Christmases, back to back. Why not? :)

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161 Maria August 27, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Great article. Brings back bitter sweet memories. I met a man who was from the other side of the world. Sure there were cultural differences but the friendship, connection and the feeling that this person just gets me, were way more powerful. Sadly I lost him due to my own lack of courage. I’ll always remember him and think of him as the one that got away. We are still close friends but he has moved on and is now with someone else, a local girl. I have never been that interested in my country’s men. I really wonder why that is… Like many say, I enjoy the challenge and richness of blending in different cultural influence.

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162 Matt September 23, 2014 at 11:48 pm

Hi there

Really interesting post and good points. But having two weddings? Seriously, there is a lot of work and stress involved.

I especially think point 6 is great. The children will often get an additional language for free. It is just such a great thing to grow up bi- or even trilingual. The children learn the additional language in a breeze, while later on they would have a hard time learning it in school.

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163 McKenna October 31, 2014 at 12:24 pm

I love this! I am married to a Mexican and there are a lot of hilarious differences between us. My silly list is here:
http://chillingwithachicano.blogspot.com/2014/10/five-things-to-worry-about-when.html

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164 K.J. November 4, 2014 at 4:35 am

I hope it is ok for a single man like me with no kids and married been married to neither in culture or off culture to say something. After reading “1- Reasons Why you Should Marry A Foreigner (Like I did) and the other married couples comments to the interesting topic about different cultures marrying brought up some kind of curiosity in me that I never known before. I was blessed and an opportunity lived and learned the language of German as my Dad and my were station in Germany for 22 years never had gone back to the states till 2002. After being a military brat for so long there got the chance to see how it was like with meeting with people, ideas, learning about others cultures and being able to experiences how see what it was like to date. Most say it was quite an experience over there with the many different personalities and beliefs there. When coming back to America lived here for 12 years and observing how dating and marriages in my own culture is very different then it was overseas with both couples was a real culture shock. I know I am very opened minded when it comes to dating a woman no matter what, cultural nationalities, where they are from and understanding a woman is no big problem for me. Class mates always ask me why I am still single it because I notice there are a lot of rules and regulation which seems to be a battlefield when trying to date and marry here in the United States. You always see the media of people getting divorce, spearing and children being either with one or the other which be really sad. Hope when I done with all my goals, career field and following my dreams I get the chance to return to Europe to have those opportunities to explore, build friendships who knows join the club as you people have with all your mates from around the world (smiles). Sorry for writing to long. Hope this comment does not make people look down on us single men out there.

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165 K.J. November 4, 2014 at 4:38 am

Re-Edit
I hope it is ok for a single man like me with no kids and never been married to neither in culture or off culture to say something. After reading “1- Reasons Why you Should Marry A Foreigner (Like I did) and the other married couples comments to the interesting topic about different cultures marrying brought up some kind of curiosity in me that I never known before. I was blessed and an opportunity lived and learned the language of German as my Dad were station in Germany for 22 years never had gone back to the states till 2002. After being a military brat for so long there got the chance to see how it was like with meeting with people, ideas, learning about others cultures and being able to experiences how see what it was like to date. Most say it was quite an experience over there with the many different personalities and beliefs there. When coming back to America lived here for 12 years and observing how dating and marriages in my own culture is very different then it was overseas with both couples was a real culture shock.
know I am very opened minded when it comes to dating a woman no matter what, cultural nationalities, where they are from and understanding a woman is no big problem for me. Class mates always ask me why I am still single it because I notice there are a lot of rules and regulation which seems to be a battlefield when trying to date and marry here in the United States. You always see the media of people getting divorce, spearing and children being either with one or the other which is really sad. Hope when I done with all my goals, career field and following my dreams I get the chance to return to Europe to have those opportunities to explore, build friendships who knows join the club as you people have with all your mates from around the world (smiles). Sorry for writing to long. Hope this comment does not make people look down on us single men out there.

Reply

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