Comments on: Returning Home After Living Abroad

By: Suzie

Suzie — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:02:11 +0000

This is so timely: I recently met up with an old friend from living abroad days, and even 20 years later, we both agreed it was the most important period in our lives as far as making us who we have become. I hope my own children will do the same one day and learn see themselves as citizens of the world, as well as the cozy hometown in which they have always lived.
Suzie´s last [type] ..chocolate agave syrup

By: Juliana

Juliana — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:56:42 +0000

I’m so glad I finally find an space where I can relate myself with other people experiences. I left my home country Colombia almost 4 years ago and I have to say that it’s been a windy road with ups and downs and I genuinely never thought someone else could feel the way that I was feeling. It’s a mixture of feelings you feel happy, sad, guilty and very judgemental feelings that always find the way to disturb your day. I’ve lived in Colombia, Canada and I ended up in the UK in a very small village after travelled around the world “well just a small portion of it”. But now I look back and I realize that I’m so bless that I’m the luckiest person in the world and that I have no right to complain because all that I have is what I wanted and I want to have. I love where I live but to be honest as long as I’m with my husband I can live anywhere, my family is home for me.

Thanks for creating this blog Corey I think you are amazing and I think all the people commenting your article are unbelievably strong and thanks for making me feel not alone.

By: Ale

Ale — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:53:44 +0000

Corey

I really enjoyed reading your post….totally true.
I am from Paraguay…but I have been away from my “home” country for a while. It started with a small trip, then the trips were getting longer… from 1 year up to 3….

I am a dancer and coincidentally my MFA project ( a year ago) was related to “being in transit”. The piece was called: Passenger, a dance theatre exploration of identity, relationships, and society from the vantage point of a foreigner in an unfamiliar culture. The work offered a different take on traveling and being in transit….but at the end my goal was to simply portray: “it all depends on us, we are the creator of our lives; is our body and our choices.”

I take the best I can from all the places I go…I love traveling, getting to know new people, cultures….and I am sure that all this experience has built my personality differently than if I never left Paraguay. Off course there are hard moments…but I am happy of having done everything I had…I am willing to keep enjoying every moment of it….traveling or staying in one place…
Ale´s last [type] ..Mi blog

By: Fabio

Fabio — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:00:31 +0000

Hello! I was born in germany from a german mother and an italian father. Then at the age of 7 i moved back to Italy and so i was grewd up with two languages and two cultures!Then at elementary and high school i lerned french and english and so now at the age of 31 i’m abel to speak four languages !This gave me the chance to find easly a favoulous and interesting job!! I reccomend to all new parents to teach 2 or better 3 languages to your childrens as soon as possible!!:-)
Fabio

By: Amy Van Vranken

Amy Van Vranken — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:58:52 +0000

Very well said, Corey. I have had to help my two daughters through this in the months and years following their 6-month immersion experiences living with another family in France at the ages of 9 and 10. While it’s hard at times, if you ask them they’ll never say they wish they hadn’t gone so that they could avoid the pain of living apart from their second home. And although sometimes I feel guilty as a mom at having opened them up this sense of loss in their lives, ultimately I know they’re much richer, more human, for their experiences. And so are you.
Amy Van Vranken´s last [type] ..Bandeau flash

By: Melissa Ferrin

Melissa Ferrin — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:42:32 +0000

Having lived more than a quarter of my life in my adopted country–I find that I’m unable to unravel how much Mexico has changed me from how much time has changed me. When I last lived in the US I was a carefree college student. So of course I’m a different person now, but of course I’m also different from the person I would have been had I never left home.

By: Anna

Anna — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:13:21 +0000

What a great post. Also lovely to read everyone’s comments. I love being a nomad, I’ve lived in UK, Bermuda, Sicily, Spain, France and short stays (few months) in USA and Canada.

I found Spain and Bermuda were where I felt most connected, comfortable, myself… Going back to England now is lovely but I am aware of all the constraints as well as the advantages. I am currently in France where it took me a very long time to settle compared to the other countries I have lived in.

I love being able to take off and make friends, “live” a new coutry and culture. For me this experience is one of the most interesting and fulfilling there is. I do admit on ‘bad’ days I can feel rootless and adrift with nowhere to call home… Sometimes there is an internal conflict with your beliefs and values and those of the country you have decided to make your home and that can leave you feeling destabilised and insecure.

However the benefits, the challenge, the delight in making new friends, discovering new outlooks, different cultures and experiencing all that can be found when exploring a new country is so exciting. It gives a vibrancy to life that I don’t think I would have found by staying in my original hometown so I wouldn’t change a thing!!

By: Corey

Corey — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:30:00 +0000

Thank you so much for taking the time to post your update, Tracey! How frustrating to be stuck in limbo – not here or there… wondering when and if! It is interesting how our children can’t help but feel familiar in the country in which they grow up (as you say about your older children), regardless of what our culture(s) are!

Being that your older children feel most comfortable in Bolivia (at least for now) it sounds like no matter where you end up, you will have a direct connection with Bolivia, at least through your older children!

Please keep us posted and good luck from all of us!

By: Tracey

Tracey — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Guess what?? – this has become a very long-winded, complicated and painful experience as our adoption took 3 months longer and we are still in Bolivia as our country (NZ) won’t let the girls in until they are NZ citizens 2-6mths (waiting for pre-approval so they can hopefully enter on a visitors visa 1mth). Our older daughter took a 6 month volunteer trip to India and is now coming back to Bolivia to study (it is her home). So we are wanting to stay here and wishing a job would come up and also packed to return to our ‘home country’. We came with two tweeners and leave with two preschoolers and the big kids stay here. We will never be completely separated from this country that we love as much as our own. (Feeling rejected by our own country). We are in limbo land – wanting to continue life here but knowing it is not possible for now. We will be back I am sure.

It is harder as we are not sure what city we are going to and if we will have old friends nearby or noone or what? I want a place that will support our spanish speaking with the girls. I know i will be sad and cry – I am leaving behind my life and will only have part of my family with me.

I can really relate to what lots of the responses have said and I am not looking forward to this experience, I know we survived/thrived coming here and I am sure there will be positives in the return, but I sense and am planning a lot of to-ing and fro-ing over the next few years. Thank you for your understanding.

By: Corey

Corey — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:19:19 +0000

Yes, what you write is so true, Luxy! There are so many ups and downs – often what we are feeling right now, this second, is temporary (yet it feels like it will last forever). As you say, it is all a balancing act: nothing is 100% perfect, it is all about how we see what we DO have. The ups and downs are so worth it, wouldn’t you say? I hate and love the ups and downs all at the same time. It is definitely what they call a “love-hate relationship”! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! Your comment inspired me to head over here to respond to yours and some other long overdue comments. So wonderful to have this discussion with everyone!